Never Forget {2}

A "Never Forget" entry is mostly for me so I have a place to reminisce, but also for you, so you can share in my most favorite of moments.

Even if I could be around for 1,000 more Christmases, these would still be my absolute favorite Christmas family pictures. In these pictures, my youngest brother, William, is 9 weeks old, my other brother, J.J., is 21 months old, my sister, Sarah, is 2 years and 9 months (she's only a year and a day older than J.J.) and I had just turned 4 a week ago.


My mom was also a night shift nurse for 23+ years. She didn't work labor and delivery though, she worked in the ICU. In addition to being a nurse, she also had her own business, owning care homes for the elderly. We had 4 homes with 5-6 clients in each home and a staff around 24/7/365 to care for them. She visited those clients all the time and took care of them like they were her own family. Despite her busy schedule outside of the family, she never missed a single field trip, dance recital, piano practice, soccer game or a chance to be room mom. The labor and delivery nurse in me also has to add that she birthed all of us sans epidural and breastfed us all.

I have absolutely no idea how she did it. I couldn't do it. Maybe she didn't sleep. Maybe she was superwoman. That's it, she was superwoman.

My mom got diagnosed with breast cancer in 1996, did chemo and went into remission. I was never scared during this time because my mom seemed to be fearless. Then, it came back in 1999. This time was different. There wasn't as much 100% assurance she was going to beat it, it seemed to be like we were all riding on hope and prayers. One night, my mom had a gathering of family and friends. The air was eery. The priest from our local church came and did an anointing of the sick for my mom. Everyone was crying and I just knew. They said she wouldn't make it through Thanksgiving. She did. She made it through Christmas and New Years too. She celebrated her 49th birthday on January 16th, and even Sarah and J.J.'s birthdays on March 8th and 9th. On the evening of March 20th, 2000, she passed away quietly in our home.

I wish I could tell you I was completely at peace when she died, but family drama made that impossible. I had hoped they would think of the kids first, but that didn't happen and because of it, we still don't speak to part of our family.

I no longer get sad when I think of my mom, which is a big step for me. I used to cry all the time, but now I can finally look back and smile without shedding a sad tear.

Merry Christmas Mom.