Watch Out - I'm On My Soapbox

I'm slightly ashamed to admit that the inspiration for this post came after watching 16&Pregnant. These girls hurled into motherhood, controlled and sometimes harassed by their baby daddies, seem to have no voice of their own. When they speak, their voices are weak, meek. Their opinions unheard, unimportant. I don't know if it's learned helplessness that helps them get what they want, because it's so easy to play the victim and have the "woe is me" attitude. They "play the fool", so to speak. It takes much more courage to stand up, be sure of your convictions and go for what you want. It's hard to trudge forward when you know there's a possibility of failure. It's easy to say "well, they know best," or "what's the point?" rather than putting in the effort to find out for yourself. What these girls don't know is that for every smidgen of power they give up when they continue with a defeatist attitude, that power goes directly to the person putting them down. Every let down for the girl is a small victory for that man. What I'm dying to scream at the t.v. is "stand up for yourself! This is your LIFE!"

I was lucky to be raised by such a strong, independent mother. As far as female role models go, she was the best. From a young age she always told me to focus on school, go to college, and get a job where I could support myself. She encouraged me to fill my brain with everything I could soak up. She loved being a mother and a wife, but that wasn't all she was. "Learn as much as you can Caroline, because people cannot take away knowledge." I never appreciated those words in my childhood, but live by them now. Luckily I had a great role model who instilled and ingrained all these values in me.

This behavior boggles my mind even further when it seems to continue into adulthood. Maybe teenagers haven't "found themselves" or are "still growing into the people they're going to be." Okay, but what about grown women who still act like this? I know some of the women have histories of abuse, physical and/or emotional, and it takes a lot for them to overcome it. For those women, I praise them. I praise them for having the courage to leave those relationships and the environment that kept breaking them down, kept trampling their spirit. They try to move on and rebuild themselves. I'm not talking about them, I'm talking about the average, run-of-the-mill, follow the pack woman. Why aren't they LIVING? Why are they just being?

Oh! Not to go off on another tangent (but then again, that is just what a blog is right, a compilation of all the random thoughts that breeze through my brain), but why are there so many women that put down other women? Why do women feel slightly better about themselves when they see someone else fail? I'm guilty of talking behind someone's back, of being the instigator of gossip sessions. Why? It's a part of our social culture, is my excuse, but I'm going to try to change that now. Acknowledging the problem is the first step to change, right? So, my point - how are women supposed to become empowered against men if we continually put each other down as well? Be a good girlfriend to your friends, family, co-workers, even the stranger on the street. I want to embody my mother, carry on her spirit and strength and use it to empower and inspire other women.

I've noticed I surround myself with other like-minded women. Strong, independent, self-aware, and those unwilling to apologize for being themselves. To those women in my life - thanks for being you and in turn, for supporting me being me.

Don't get me wrong, I'm no hippy dippy man-hating woman who's half a second away from running outside to burn my bra. (What point did that actually make, anyway?) All I want to do is empower women, girls, to speak up and be heard, be involved, to follow your passion, to speak up when you know something is not right, and to not let anyone, another woman or a man, tell you your opinion doesn't matter, that your hard work won't pay off. Don't be ashamed of a hard day's work. I don't think many people respect hard work these days, they almost turn their noses up to "the chump" that had to work so hard to achieve something "not that great". It's almost an accomplishment today to be the cool kid who just baaarely got by. "I hardly studied for that test and I still passed." High fives all around. Why? I think this a super American mentality, the land of making a quick buck at anyone's expense, of doing the minimal amount of work to get by. Call me a nerd or a goody two-shoes, but I find pride in a hard days work.

There's also another lesson my mom taught me that, when I was younger, seemed the opposite of the first lesson she taught me; be humble. Yes, don't forget lesson number one: stand up for yourself, speak your mind and go for your dreams, but (and this is a big BUT), do not be a know-it-all. No one likes a know-it-all. In the nicest way, my mom taught me to know when to speak up and know when to shut up.

Be confident in who you are and never apologize for your opinions.

Don't be a pushover.

Know when to stand and fight and when to bow out gracefully.

Be lady like and civil. Listen to both sides of the story.

Don't jump to conclusions.

Learn all you can about as much as you can.

Be inspired and inspire others.

The longer you can go without raising your voice, the more impact it will have when you do.

Don't be a passenger to your own life, be the driver.

[insert your own funny, quirky, sappy and/or cliche quote here.]

*stepping off my soapbox now*