My first shift in 4 months starts in 17 hours. Seven hours ago I had (another) meltdown about leaving my baby. Bruce hasn't been taking the bottle well at all lately and it's been making me panic. We had breastfeeding down so well that we hardly gave him a bottle in the last 2 months. Well, apparently re-learning the bottle wasn't as easy as we thought it would be. He's been fighting the bottle for the last week. Each day as I counted down the days until my first shift at work, and with each failed bottle attempt, my anxiety would go up and up.

Well, to my surprise, Bruce just woke up after sleeping for 7 hours (yay!), drank a 2 ounce bottle, and went right back to sleep. No fuss, it was like this has been his routine for weeks. This has given me so much peace of mind. I hope he can keep this up!

We've been practicing what will be my night time routine with Bruce when I go to work. We do night time routine, I nurse him, and he's asleep by 10-10:20 p.m. That gives me time to get ready for work because I leave at 10:40. Hopefully Bruce will sleep at least 4-6 hours for his first chunk of sleep. Tonight, Bruce woke up at 5:20 to eat and is sleeping again. He was only up for a total of maybe 15 minutes!

I'm getting things ready for work tonight, planning out what we're doing today (grocery store, meal prep for the next few days and cleaning the house) and hoping he'll sleep through until 8 a.m. If this is his pattern, that means he'll sleep the whole time I'm away, except for one feeding with Chris. If this works out, it would be amazing! The only thing better is if Bruce slept from 10 p.m. until 8 a.m. when I get home, but I'm not going to push my luck!

Now that my anxiety is waaaay down, let's just look at some happy baby pictures, shall we?

My happy boy loves being on the changing table. 

No skinny minny here!

Our first family trip to the beach. It was cold and windy and he slept the whole time.

My boys at the park.

Just melts my heart!

Strolling in the park after getting slurpees.

Look at his size difference in his car seat! A few days old, and 11 weeks old.

Bruce's first week at My Gym.

A day in San Francisco at the de Young Museum and Japanese Tea Garden.

Smiling and squealing with Grandpa on Father's Day.

An afternoon with Great Grandparents and Great Aunt Mary Lu.

Whoa. Close up in Capitola.

My absolute favorite - a sleeping baby on my chest. If I could make this last forever, I would.

Off to shower before the baby wakes up, and then we'll be ready to start our day. Hopefully I'll sleep from 6-9 p.m., be up to put Bruce to sleep, then go to work. Hoping to shed a minimal amount of tears while I'm away from him. Wish me luck.